I felt like writing this and you're reading it so there's that. Cue the NFL Films music aaaaaandd.....

NFC East
As per usual the Redskins / Commies (why are we calling them this now?) are a mediocre-at-best disaster of a team and won't be winning the division in 2025. Same with the Giants. The talent just isn't there, regardless of what they do in the draft. (I then flip a coin) Looks like the Eagles are winning the division even though this blog is based in Dallas. 

NFC South
This probably isn't a controversial opinion but the addition of Kirk Cousins makes the Falcons a real thing. Bow down to your new 10-7 division winner.

NFC North
When will the NFL step in and do something about the Bears as a franchise. Anyway. I hate to pick the same team that won the division last year but the Lions are objectively the most talented team in the division and have the best QB. 

NFC West
Again there just isn't enough to suggest any team has made enough of a jump in the offseason, regardless of the draft, to overthrow the 9ers as division champs. The 9ers are currently favored to win the Super Bowl. Do the math.

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AFC West
See the above NFC West 2025 Preview but replace "9ers" with "Chiefs". THE CHIEFS WILL THREE PEAT THIS YEAR SCREENCAP THIS.

AFC North
Sigh. Uh. The Bengals or something I dunno.

AFC South
Why are all these teams so bad except the Texans. The CJ Stroud tape is real.

AFC East
GIVE ME THE JETS BECAUSE WE GOTTA GET WACKY. 

I was recently in San Antonio (world traveler at this point) for a wedding and I needed to rent a tuxedo since I currently don't own one. I contacted 210 Formal Wear in San Antonio and was pleasantly surprised to find this awesome company (shout out to the owner Andrew) offers the best tuxedo rental San Antonio has to offer. They are a mom n pop store unlike a lot of their competitors like Nordstrom who have a presence in San Antonio but lack the personal touch of a store like 210 Formal Wear. Not only to their carry a wide variety of classic black tuxes (any size imaginable they have you covered) but they also have other non-tuxedo style formal wear for any occasion. They could probably even help with a costume party but I'm just freestyling ideas here. They might even be able to help with a Dumb and Dumber style powder blue tux if that's your scene.

I was thoroughly impressed with my experience with this great local retailer and wanted to give them a tip of the (top) hat for being so helpful and receptive on short notice. They saved me and they can do the same for you regardless of what you need for the next formal event you attend - whether that's your wedding or someone else's. Pricing was also shockingly affordable. 10/10 experience, check them out if you live in San Antonio and want to support a local company, not a giant corporation.

I just wanted to send a special thanks to my friends at Five Star Limo of Charlotte for the awesome service they provided when I was in town for a conference. Before I rented my limo I looked through their amazing limo showroom and picked out a ride that fit what I was looking for as part of my trip. The owner was easy to deal with and even gave us a great rate.

The thing that really stood out to me about the experience was the ease of booking a limo - never been easier and I'm so thankful I went with them. Whether you need a limo for prom, a wedding or just a night on the town, Five Star can definitely assist.

As an example of a limo for rental, from their website:

• Seating for 8 Passengers
• Black Exterior with Black Interior
• Black Lacquer & Carbon Fiber Bar Adorned with Fiber Optics
• New Touch Screen Controls
• Flat Screen TV, DVD Player
• CD Player with iPod/iPhone Hookup
• Neon Lights, Star Gazer Bar and Ceiling
• LED Dome Lights, Mood Lighting

Awesome amenities and that's just the beginning of what they have to offer. 

​Newly Remodeled White Mercedes Sprinter Party/Bus Limo - Seats 16 Adults, Bus doors, 55 inch TV, DVD, Upgraded stereo with subs, lasers, strobes, Infinity ceiling, rails with RBG lighting, Dome Lights, Internet, 3 color pattern seating & 3 bars, Color Changing LED Lights throughout, USB outlets, and black manor oak floor. Our 16 Passenger Mercedes Sprinter Limo / Party Bus is the perfect choice for Weddings, Proms, all kinds of Parties in Charlotte, NC!! For your Corporate Events we can turn off all the extra lights inside for a business atmosphere.  Plus the 6ft high ceiling allows getting in and out easy!

Apparently On Cloud is no longer the cool new yuppie shoe brand and everyone has switched allegiance to these damn things. Pic above very much related. Pricing was reasonable so I decided to get a pair and I'm so glad I did. Allbirds are obscenely comfortable daily wear shoes that look a little classier / more grown up than your typical sneaker with a ton of logos and crap all over there. Almost dressy in a way. At first I didn't think these had enough performance in them to be my daily jogging shoes but I was wrong - they are awesome and provide plenty of support. They might be the best running shoe I've ever worn in terms of comfort. If you are on your feet all day and need a pair of grown-up looking trainers to get around in, you can do much worse than these. Grey and white is a great combo too. Would recommend.

If you are a resident of DFW Dallas Fort Worth and need the very best car accident attorneys Dallas has to offer, look no further than Mathias Raphael near the Galleria. I've known the owners for decades and they recently helped me out of a jam involving a car accident that wasn't my fault. 

In addition to helping with car accident cases, the team and Mathias Raphael helps with truck wreck cases, wrongful death cases and much more. They are one of the best and most respected law firms in all of Texas and have decades of combined experience fighting insurance companies and getting clients the money not only need but also deserve. As a former client I can say the entire experience is incredible and you are treated like family and not just another number. I suspect this is what separates them from larger law firms without the personal touch. Check them out, highest recommendation. 

As previously reported in USA Today it looks like Deandre Hopkins has narrowed his free agency choices to the Bills, the Ravens and the Patriots. I have also heard the Chiefs are interested BECAUSE OF COURSE THE CHIEFS ARE INTERESTED. 

The Bills really need to add someone like Hopkins to have a shot at winning a Superb Owl / Super Bowl this year. Nuke Hopkins would give Josh Allen a ridiculous set of starting WRs plus an emerging option in Dalton Kincaid. And Gabe Davis is no slouch as a WR 3 but he's clearly not a WR2. Hoping the Bills can pull this off because they just don't have enough to be a real contender right now.

The Ravens and their new more-pass-happy offense under GOAT offensive coordinator Todd Monken could also benefit from adding Hopkins. Lamar Jackson would have easily his best WR of his career and the Ravens would look like a strong contender in a stacked AFC.

The Patriots..... need WRs..... so there's that I guess.

The real dark horse is the Chiefs. Nuke Hopkins wants a ring and the Chiefs are already favored to win the Super Bowl in 2023. Adding Hopkins would be ridiculous and Mahomes would probably win MVP as if he's not already favored. My pick is the Chiefs because they are so well positioned for a title already.

Post encouraged by Hot N Ripped Stripper for Hire Service

This was a profoundly stupid pick by a team that I WAS JUST KINDA WARMING UP TO AS THE FAVORITES TO WIN THE NFC NORTH IN 2023 but alas I cannot ride with them any more. The sharp money has moved to the Bears. It ain't gonna be the Packers. Who's winning the NFC South on a side note.

Jahmyr Gibbs is a great player and this is not a knock on his talent. HE'S AN ALABAMA RUNNING BACK WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW? But he's a running back and the Lions / Loins just paid David Montgomery and running back is hella devalued these days and did I mention YOU DON'T SPEND THE #12 PICK IN THE DRAFT ON A 3RD DOWN / BACKUP RB WHEN YOUR DEFENSE IS SWISS CHEESE AND BALLER CORNERBACKS ARE AVAILABLE. 

This was bad. This is not how smart teams draft and it's a bummer because the Lions have made progress lately. I'm personally sick of their annual Thanksgiving game meaning zilch. Gibbs will be an asset for sure but Detroit blew it this year.

*voice cracking violently* Some nice people who do stripper rentals across the nation including male stripper rental in Destin Gulf Shores and Orange Beach contacted me about helping them show up better online. So that's what I'm doing. I can't use any pictures as part of this post because it's all somewhat NSFW BUT I WILL SAY THEY ARE ON THE UP AND UP.

They offer easy bookings for bachelor parties and all sorts of other events. Having a birthday party for your grandma and want some spice? Midwest Striptease is your source for some real fun. That's all I know how to say about them.

So check them out if you need some nightlight entertainment, they service 300+ cities with both male and female exotic dancers and their owner is a great dude.

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From the site:

Find male strippers and female exotic dancers across the state of Florida - Doral, Miami Beach, Ocala, Winter Garden, Winter Haven, Hialeah, Port St. Lucie, Pembrook Pines, Boynton Beach, Ormond Beach, Jacksonville. These are just a few of the cities we service. Call us anywhere in the state to get started.

(above: NOT Lake Lewisville)

With a title like that how couldn't this be a serious article? Anyway I met a dude named Gabe who owns a pontoon boat rental on Lake Lewisville and he offered to let me try it out for a weekend and then write a review of my experience. So that's what I'm doing. Honestly I had an absolute blast out on Lake Lewisville sitting under the canopy of the pontoon boat, drinking beer and taking in the scenery.

I even went fishing and caught some Lake Lewisville crappie and bass. Fishing on this thing is incredible. While this is mostly a party boat it is also great for fishing....

Michael's pontoon boat is a 25-foot pontoon with a sun deck, afore-mentioned canopy area and rear ladder to easily get in and out of the water. It is equipped with a table, sink & comfortably seats 10 adults    

For your stress-free adventure, his pontoon boat comes complete with an experienced Captain and is equipped with all Coastguard approved safety equipment. How cool is that? If you live in the area you gotta check them out. Boat rental on Lake Lewisville made easy, no doubt.


Children under 14 yrs must wear a life vest while underway 

The eponymously named Home Elevator of Texas does great work all over the state of Texas and for my money is the best builder of home elevators Houston could ever ask for. I stayed in an Air BNB recently in the Houston metro area that featured one of their custom installs and was blown away by the craftsmanship and reliability of this stairlift on steroids. It fits three people comfortably and nothing says opulence like having an elevator in your residential property. Very cool. I just had to say something about it.

Instead of expanding to the Dallas area using their standard Home Elevator of Texas name, Home Elevator of Texas took a different approach and bought out Elevating Systems, an already established home elevator installer in Dallas that has over 26 years of experience installing elevators. Double nice. So who exactly needs one of these in their house? First, it helps if the house is two story. Or has a basement. Or something. Otherwise not so much.

Home elevators are quite useful if you are needing help getting up or down a flight of stairs. It's a shame to see people have to sell their two or three story homes when they get to an age where mobility is limited. No longer is that an issue. Also, a home elevator can add curb appeal to your property and increase the value of the listing if you do decide to sell. They are low maintenance and run for decades with ease. And it's also fun! This might sound obvious but it's simply a blast riding in a home elevator vs taking the stairs. No matter what you need, these two great co-existing companies can help make your living situation even better. Age in place and don't sell your home because you can no longer reach a second story bedroom! 

Contact info in Dallas
3321 Towerwood Drive
Suite 110
Farmers Branch, TX 75234
Phone: 214-234-8840