Anthony G Adams - Blog

True story of corporate stupidity:

We had Friday meetings at my last job.  Our sales managers gave out feel-good awards, sung their team's praises and killed thirty minutes with what essentially amounted to very PC theatrics. It had this 'everyone is special, everyone gets a gold star, don't upset the herd' vibe to it. Great.


One Friday, after a month of poor performance from our entire department, one of our sales managers stood up to 'motivate' the troops.


"Look you guys, I want you all to not be afraid. Don't be afraid to pick up that phone. And make that phone call.  Ask customers for their business. Don't be afraid to ask for the sale."

Even more jaw-droppingly stupid was the wave of 'understanding' that went through the crowd. As if some divine wisdom had just been imparted on us. So that's what they want us to do!

He actually made it sound like talking to customers was, you know, part of an inside sales job description or something.  

I'm coining a new term:


Search engine branding.


You can name your product or service anything you want, but having a Google-friendly name doesn't hurt. 

Something everyone needs to think about:


Does your job allow/cause you to continuously learn new and important skills that allow you to remain vital to your company's success?

Are you really using your degree? Whatever that even means.

I know I wasn't at my last job. Not that I put any stock in my college education to begin with.

I put together spreadsheets, sent emails and made phone calls to existing customers.  And they paid me very well for it while it lasted.  

The problem here is that none of these activities required any special skill or training. Anyone can send an email. Or put together a spread sheet. Or call and ask some company for money. You don't need a degree to do that. I know plenty of people without degrees who would do a fantastic job in that situation.

I remember a lot of angry co-workers on the day my department got the chop. A lot of people couldn't believe they were let go. Which I think is pretty silly, to this day. Let's be logical.

Ask yourself just how disposable you are. And figure out exactly what you offer your company that few others can. And be honest with yourself with this evaluation.  If you can't think of anything, don't act shocked if and when you get laid off.

Would you employ yourself? Honestly.

Just one more reason to start your own business:


Even in failure, you can still earn a real world MBA.


Example:  In under six months, I became regarded in the top 5% of all SEO experts on Elance.com without even making it a goal to learn search engine optimization. 


Nine months ago, I didn't know what SEO was. 

Create something that satisfies your own needs/wants.  Chances are, other people have the same wants and will like it too.  At the very least, even if it fails, you scratched your own itch and followed your heart, learned a little about yourself and God forbid, had some fun in the process.


And now you have ten thousand custom metal dragon statues in your garage to play with. 


It's not the end of the world.

If my phone had a good camera in it, I would have taken a picture of the new business release rack at Barnes and Noble yesterday.


5 different books on how to use Twitter for business.  All around 200 pages long. All written by social media gurus. Tips include 'How to send your first tweet' and 'Picking your profile pic.'

(The was also a Facebook marketing strategy manual)

This is astonishingly dumb.  It's really not that complicated. It's Twitter. There are no rules.

Yes, your business can benefit from a Twitter account. It's an easy way of looking relevant and a logical extension of your brand. Fan interaction is great.


But 230 pages on a service that is more restrictive than a text message?  Come on.  Just like Twitter itself, it seems there is a ton of chatter flying around on bookshelves with very, very little being said.

Something I don't understand, and never will:  


9 to 5.


Why?

It takes office workers exactly 8 hours to do a job every day?  Not 8 hours and fifteen minutes, or four hours and twelve minutes, or 15 hours and ten minutes, or one hour and twenty minutes? This has been verified?  Of course not. The system is painfully broken.

If you manage a team, let them work on their own terms.  From home, if needed.  The internet is a pretty cool little tool and allows it to happen.  I promise you, they will be happier and more productive.  They don't need to sit around inside clicking the StumbleUpon button for two hours until they are allowed to leave at 5 to keep up this illusion of productivity. It benefits no one.

You might be saying you don't trust your team enough to allow this.  They would goof off.  THEN WHY ARE THEY EMPLOYED TO BEGIN WITH?  Fire them and hire people who are willing to work. Last I checked, plenty of talented, hungry people are looking for jobs.  That is NOT an excuse and there is already plenty of goofing off going on.

Brad can send you that spreadsheet from a lawn chair in his garden. You know, outside. 

I've had Skype calls with people all over the world.  Your 'team' can do the same from across the city to talk about your new widget.  And it's FREE.  See also: Web cams. This isn't science fiction I'm talking here. This stuff exists.

Added bonus:  You help the environment and people get even happier. Rush hour traffic disappears/diminishes because people are working from home and commuting when they want to, which means fewer cars burning less fuel at 5 miles an hour in bumper to bumper traffic for four hours a day, less road rage, fewer accidents and stalled cars, better road conditions, more time with kids and hobbies, and so on. Do the math on the amount of gasoline wasted every year during rush hour, it's astonishing how broken 9 to 5 is.

We also get to skip out on the ultimate soul crushing office activity:  The birthday party. Darn.

Google's 'Parisian Love' spot is proof that a Super Bowl commercial doesn't need explosions and celebrities and talking animals to be great.  


Anyone could have made this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnsSUqgkDwU

Hugh kills it:

http://www.gapingvoidgallery.com/images/ignore-everybody.gif

I'd like to amend it, just ever so slightly:  Ignore everyone who hasn't had success (define it however you want) doing what you are looking for advice on.  And even then, proceed with caution. It's easy to get opinions that don't matter from busy people. They don't know you.

You've also probably spent a lot more time thinking through a new idea (days, weeks, sleepless nights) than the (potentially disinterested) person you pitch it to out of nowhere (a few seconds).  


(I'm aware of the irony, by the way, of writing a post telling you to ignore everybody)


(And the overuse of parenthesis)